I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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