I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
