who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
