He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Randomize
