when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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