So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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