I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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