Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
