I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
