I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize