I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
