I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize