Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
