i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize
