Me too!
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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