i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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