so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
