Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
