Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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