when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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