Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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