ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
