I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
