I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
