I think my fart just growled at me.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
