How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You're a waste of cheezeits
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
