Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
