Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
