Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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