We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
