Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I will be naked everywhere
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
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