Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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