We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
