is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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