she woke up with a sticky ear
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
