My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
