who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize