either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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