Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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