my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
