Soap is not a condiment
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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