he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Randomize
