Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
