I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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