Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize