1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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