Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
