Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
last night I used snow as a chaser
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
