and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You need a sexual gate keeper
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
