i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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