i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
