Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
