Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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