At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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