bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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