Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
