can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
