i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize