I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
