the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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