they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
