My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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