Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
My balls are so social today.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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