I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
