I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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