Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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