How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Damn victory sex feels great
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
