Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
