One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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