it's too hot outside to masturbate.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize